Usually, I like to wake up early around 5:30 am, and start my day. That is my preferred schedule if I can get to bed early enough. This morning I woke up to this beautiful scene. It’s not unusual to see fog like this where I live in Quetzaltenango, Guatemala. This morning was a little different.
For the past two weeks I have not been able to sleep. I’ve been up late with work and trying to finish an academic proposal and dealing with family sickness. When I get out of a schedule it affects me a great deal. I get anxious and sometimes even depressed.
The past two weeks have been difficult because of uncertainty. Four years ago I felt very impressed to continue my studies. I didn’t really have a huge desire to continue studying but the impression was strong enough that I started looking into schools. Once I started seeing the cost of graduate school I was put off. I couldn’t justify going into that much debt for a feeling I was somewhat unsure of. I prayed about it and it was reaffirmed to me that I should continue my studies. I initially entered a Data Science program but after being unhappy with the program and program cost, I left. It wasn’t the right fit. I prayed again and told God that I couldn’t justify going into debt.
As I prayed, I felt God tell me to look into schools in Guatemala where I was. I looked and couldn’t find anything that fit what I wanted to do in computer science or mathematics. I started looking into other programs. I finally found a program that was interesting(linguistics). It was at a private university in Guatemala. The price was reasonable enough that I could pay for it out of pocket and not be burdened with debt.
Today as I am getting back on a schedule, after being busy and stressed with life and wondering exactly what God had in store for me and pondering what exactly I was going to do with the degrees that I am earning, I was presented with this beautiful landscape this morning.
As I looked out the window at the scene before me, the Spirit sweetly whispered to me, “You are not alone, I can see past the fog.” I can only see a little in front of me at a time. I can’t see the whole picture. But little by little He is guiding me. He is showing me the next step in the appropriate moment. That is a hard thing for me. I like to have things planned out very far in advance and know what the process is. But that is not His plan.
For behold, thus saith the Lord God: I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little; and blessed are those who hearken unto my precepts, and lend an ear unto my counsel, for they shall learn wisdom; for unto him that receiveth I will give more2 Nephi 28:30
I’m very grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who leads me and guides me. I’m still not sure exactly what the Lord has in store for me but I know that he will reveal that at the appropriate time.